Realignment...Step Two

For the past week, my quest for alignment (realignment) has been running like an open app in the background of my life. As I’m reviewing our family finances, meeting with a client, making dinner, creating new content, shuttling one of the three hither and yon, I cannot shake this pull to get back to this incredibly crucial work. So, I am grateful for the early morning hours when the house is quiet to just reflect a bit more on this process in preparation for the new year and to share it with you.  Ideally, I’d love to be tucked away on a planning retreat for three days to focus on this. In the absence of the ideal, I make the time I have work for me.

Ready for Step Two?

Other questions came up for me during Step One, such as: What was my worst setback? Do I have any unmet goals? Do I have any persisting bad habits? How did I limit myself this trimester?

Did any other reflective questions come up for you? If so, capture and explore them.

Now, if you have not yet had an opportunity to do Step One, do not get anxious about it. (Here's a cheat sheet.) This is about process, not product or outcome. Jump into the flow at any point. I’m sharing how I do it. You can adapt this process to fit your bent, and I encourage you to do so. As we work together on making the necessary tweaks in our perspectives and habits, we will come into alignment with our purposes and passions. Then we can set some BHAGs for the new year.

Ready. Set. Let’s GO…to Step Two!

I have taken time to think reflectively, to determine from whence I’ve come. I think I have made some progress. At this juncture, it is time to evaluate where I am. I look at my current standing with no judgment. This is my most difficult step.

Why?

Because I tend to struggle with guilt and shame about what I have NOT yet accomplished. C’mon…don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about??? For me, the struggle is REAL! I’m trying to shake this tendency. And with shame, the only way to dispel it, is to expose it. Darkness cannot hide once you’ve turned the lights on!

This is me, holding a flood light on this junk!!!

How?

One way…when I hear myself using words like “should” or “shouldn’t,” I stop and change my language. For example, “I should be much further along with my course writing by now” becomes “I planned to be much further along with my course writing by now.” It’s subtle but the latter statement takes the judgment out of the mix. Plans can change; “shoulds” cannot. They just leave me feeling bad about myself. Then I fall down the rabbit-hole of all the “shoulds” I didn’t get to and the “shouldn’ts” I did do…it’s a trap! And it can become a prison with a life sentence, if not dealt with head on!

I have decided that I will be good to myself so that I can build the business and life I am after. That begins with how I speak to and of my pursuits. I cannot diminish my progress because it is not exactly where I’d planned for it to be. I force myself to think about what hindered the process and to reevaluate my plan. Was it too aggressive? Then I consider what adjustments can be made to ensure that I meet my goals.

A process-focused perspective is flexible and accommodating to life, which is unpredictable, y'all. I can never plan for every detail or anticipate every challenge but I can adopt a mindset that keeps me engaged and progressing even when things go awry. This perspective is the undercurrent of Step Two of the realignment process.

Here are this week’s questions:

What is the state of my “union” (business/life)? I am pleased with some aspects of my business but I still feel unsure of how to reach people. I know what I offer is transformative and growth inducing. How do I connect with people who would benefit from my services. In my personal life, I have fallen off my running wagon. I was, nay, AM a runner. The issue is that I haven’t run more than a handful of times in two months. I am not in a great place with my fitness.

Which specific areas of my business and/or life require my attention? Marketing and fitness. (Did you read my answer to question #1? Lol.)

Do I show up for my business daily? Am I present and conscious (most of the time)? Most days…I do. I consistently reflect the night before on how the day has gone, and set my Big Three for the next day to keep me on track. When I am on, I am locked in. I often find it odd to hear my older children coming into the house after school when it feels like they’ve just left.

What limiting beliefs are still lurking around my psyche? Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this…maybe I can’t do this…do I have what it takes?

Who are my current mentors/role models? Brené Brown, Michael Hyatt, Marie Forleo, Amy Porterfield, and Brendon Burchard. No, I do not know any of them, personally. Their work inspires and informs me. I’ve learned that some of my best mentors are the authors of great books that I read…and digest.

Ok…that’s it for me. You’re up! Be sure to click the link below to access this week’s freebie. Take the time, at least 30-45 minutes, to give these questions some thought WITHOUT judging your answers or explaining why you are where you are. Remember to personalize the process by jotting down other questions that come to mind related to where you stand.

Until next time…

XO,

R